Nov 10, 2008

No Interwebs

The internet hates us. Ok, more specifically, AT&T DSL is the suck. We've been without internet at home since Thursday evening. Every few hours Fozec calls the 1-800 number to laugh at the latest "Your coverage should return by XX" time. Yesterday they just gave up even updating the recording, so all day we were told we'd have service back by 9:30am.

Fozec has considered switching to cable but we doubt they'd be speedy enough to install it by Wrath. We haven't seen a single truck in our neighborhood, nor any signs of an astroid impact or severed cables laying across the road.

If we don't have internet, there's no real reason to take off work for WoW, either.

Great timing.


Christopher said...

Egads! That's awful!

I hate dealing with internet companies. Every time I call Charter when their internet goes out, their course of action is always the same.

1) It must be your router. Restart your router. Did you try restarting your router? How many blinky flashy lights do you have on your router? What do you mean "none"? Oh, the router is off. Well put the router back on. Did that fix the problem?


2) Okay, in that case it's your computer. Turn off your computer. And your router. The router's still the problem, but your computer clearly isn't helping. Is your computer and your router off? Now turn your router on first, wait fifteen minutes, and turn on your computer, that should fix everything. Did that fix everything?

Me: It's not my @#$%ing computer.

3) Okay, it's your house. We'll send someone out to fix your house next January.

Me: ~fume~

Captain The First said...

Harass them... call them as often as you possibly can. Send them as many emails as you can muster and fire up the letter traffic demanding that you not be billed for services that they do not provide.

Don't threaten to quit their service but tell them you're more than happy to sue them and even involve the media and that you're happily posting your findings about their abysmall services on every internet site you can find.

There's nothing more annoying to a corporation than when you start tying up their resources on a permanent basis. In the end they'd rather take care of your complaint than continue dealing with you because for every hour of their time you waste they're losing money. For every bit of negative PR they're losing even more money.

Always demand to speak to manager... always ask for names and never press the numbers you're supposed to press. Tell your story to anyone who will hear it.

Make especially sure that you're always talking to the wrong department. My best results never came from an official helpdesk... they know how to get rid of you... but their sales department or billing department are weakpoints waiting to be brought to their knees by a heart-wrenching story of you not being able to work from home anymore and it costing you bucketloads of income.

Make sure you sound amazed that you're not receiving the services you're paying for and ask whether that is their standard policy on how to treat customers.

The second you get a single slip of the tongue from them you've got some golden material for the newspapers who just love to shred large corporations.

Give them a whiff of a potential lawsuit and annoy the crap out of them... it works... I've tried it... ask KPN in the netherlands.

Be evil... be warlock